I Keep Learning

I thought I was hungry, so I took a bowl of beans and rice out of the fridge to heat up.  As I walked to the microwave I took a bite of ham that was sitting on top of the rice.  I immediately knew that what I was feeling was not physical hunger so I put the bowl back in the fridge and am eating nothing. 

I don’t need it.  I thought I did in order to keep working this evening and to fuel my run in the morning, but I guess I don’t.  God is still teaching me how to deny myself. 

I think my lack of progress in increasing my running time is directly related to my weight loss being at a standstill.  If I could lose another good amount of weight, I might get faster.  Over the last couple weeks I noticed that the Olympic runners were almost all super thin.  Don’t get the wrong idea!  I’m not going to starve myself or take any supplements nor am I saying anyone should do that to get a certain look.  It’s just an observation I had.  I hope their leanness is a result of good nutrition and training.  I’m not training for the Olympics.  Maybe realizing that bite of ham was not what I needed is God telling me to trust Him with fueling my body.  Maybe I don’t need to eat as much as I think I do.  Maybe I’ll eat a little bit after I wake up and before I run in the morning.  Maybe not.  We’ll see.  I just know I don’t need anything tonight, and I realized it before I ate the entire bowl of beans and rice. 

Eating Is Sometimes A Bother

We went strawberry picking last week with some friends and family and to a park afterward.  I got Subway on the way to the park and decided to eat mine in the car so my daughter could drive.  I didn’t want a teenager with only her learner’s permit trying to eat while driving!  Also, this would free me up to hold my niece when we got to the park while the others ate.  My cousin’s husband remarked that I wasn’t eating and I told him the story.  He thought it was funny that I wanted to get eating over and done with, like it was a bother.  HA!  What a long way God’s brought me that eating is now sometimes a bother or just a task to do and not something I plan my day around. 

Day 2

Here are my thoughts from today:

1. Down 3 pounds in 1 day??? I ate yesterday so how can that be?! I'm not complaining, but...

My friend, trainer, and nutritionist, Brandice Lardner of www.fitnessinfusiononline.com said that when our bodies store carbohydrates, they hold onto a water molecule, so if you stop eating carbs you will see a quick weight loss.

Okay. Makes sense.

2. Usually when I'm hungry and get a growl, it's way over on my left side. I mean WAAAAY on the left side. Like my side. Not my stomach/abdomen. This morning I'm getting a growl right in the middle of my abdomen.

3. Insights from A Hunger for God by John Piper: "The weakness of our hunger for God is not because he is unsavory, but because we keep ourselves stuffed with other things. Perhaps, then, the denial of our stomach's appetite for food might express, or even increase, our soul's appetite for God."

"The issue is not food per se. The issue is anything and everything that is, or can be, a substitute for God."

"The danger of eating is that we fall in love with the gift; the danger of fasting is that we belittle the gift and glory in our willpower."

"The true mortification of our carnal nature is not a simple matter of denial and discipline. It is an internal, spiritual matter of finding more contentment in Christ than in food."

"Faith is a spiritual feasting on Christ with a view to being so satisfied in Him that the power of all other allurements is broken."

4. Hot tea without honey and cream is just not worth drinking. Blech! I'd rather do without.

5. Why am I doing this 20-day fast? Wouldn't one day be fine like I usually do once a week? I had gotten lax and not been diligent about controlling my appetite. I was slowly creeping back to eating whatever I wanted when I wanted it. Not overeating, but definitely letting flesh have its way. That has to stop. This fast is to rein in my flesh and remind it that God is in control.  And no, one day would not be enough right now. 

6.  I took a 1-hour nap this afternoon and then went on a ¾-mile walk instead of my usual 3-mile run.  The weather was beautiful, wasn’t it?!  The distance seemed just right to me.  Not too much and not too little.  I thought I would just automatically run when I got to my starting point, but I didn’t.  I was surprised.  I guess I need this rest.  I had a little bit of pain in my foot so it’s good that I didn’t run. 

7.  Going to start taking a multivitamin. 

8.  I saw some earrings today that I forgot I had.  I saw them more than 20 years ago at Wet 'N Wild in Orlando and thought they were cute.  I haven't worn them probably since before Brianne was born.  Now I don't think they're cute.  God little by little shows me things that I need to get rid of.  These earrings are the latest thing.  I thought maybe one of you might want them, but the paint is chipping off them and the post is bent on one.  Here's the picture: 

8.  Tired of salad.  Well, no more until Feb. 2.  Just water, juice, smoothies, and veggie broth for the next 16 days.  And Jesus.  :-D

9.  "The Motions" by Matthew West just came on the radio.  I don't remember if that was one of the songs that helped me the first time I did this fast or if it came later, when I was training for my first 5K.  Either way, it still inspires me.  The first line is, "This might hurt, it's not safe, but I know I've got to make a change."  Pretty appropriate, huh?