Saturday, April 28, 2012

Lows and Highs

I went to a Mandisa concert last night with a friend.

As we stood in line because we got there early, I watched other people arrive.  This concert was promoted as a Girls’ Night Out and I watched group after group of women park and walk over to the line.  My most frequent thought was, “There are a lot of fat women here.”  I soon realized how prideful that thinking is.  I have no basis for pride in what God has done with me the last almost three years, but there it was.  I’m certainly not model material but I was not only noticing the large women, I was secretly glad I didn’t look like them.  Not one of my best moments.  L  No, I don’t look like I used to, but I don’t look the way I’d like to either.  God’s not looking at the outward appearance, though.  He looks at our hearts.  My heart doesn’t run to food like it used to, but it sure ran to pride last night.  What did God see when He looked at my heart before the show?  Not ugly gluttony and self-indulgence but ugly pride.  Just as ugly.  Sin is sin. 

I saw a friend at the concert whom I went to high school with but haven’t seen in probably 20 years because we live in different cities now.  We’ve been friends on Facebook for a few years.  She just happened to have two seats open next to her family so my friend and I moved there.  FRONT ROW! 

Laura Story was also at the concert.  She sings the song “Blessings” and told us the story of how she came to write it.  Her husband was diagnosed with a brain tumor a couple years into their marriage and God wasn’t answering their prayers the way they wanted Him to.  You can find the whole story on YouTube. 

At intermission, they mentioned that the cafĂ© was selling snacks and that one of those snacks was cream puffs with strawberries and chocolate.  :-DD  After talking to my friend for a few minutes I went to get in line.  I wanted those strawberries and chocolate!  It turned out to be these cream puffs ...

half a strawberry (not a very ripe one)...
And a drizzle of Hershey’s syrup.  I don’t like Hershey’s syrup.  I got it anyway and ate it standing in line for the bathroom.  Then I heard Mandisa on stage so I left the line and almost ran back to my seat! 

I had a fun time watching Mandisa front and center! 

When the show was over and we were walking out I heard God say about the brownie I’d also bought (yeah) that I needed to throw it away as a sacrifice.  I knew I needed to but it was in my purse, there was a huge crowd, and I didn’t see a trash can.  On the drive home I obeyed, put the window down, and threw it out. 
So it was a night of lows and highs.  I’ve prayed about my prideful attitude and repented of it.  The brownie cost $1 and I’m sure was from a store mix.  Big whoop.  Obeying God in throwing it out was worth so much more than the benefit I would’ve gotten from eating it. 

In other news, I determined this morning that I WOULD fast supper today and breakfast and lunch tomorrow since I've gotten away from that pattern lately.  Then my mom reminded me that our family had been invited to a birthday party this afternoon.  Sigh.  I asked a friend to pray that I would be self-disciplined.  I did fine and had just water to drink.  When my mom and dad went up to get food my dad brought me the biggest strawberry I'd ever seen, probably 3 inches long!  If you know me at all you know how I am with strawberries!  This one was white on the top and bottom, though, indicating that it wasn't ripe when picked.  My dad went back to the food line and I debated what I should do.  I didn't want to disappoint him by telling him I was fasting and wouldn't eat it, but I didn't want to fail again either.  I ended up biting off the white tip and throwing it in the garbage.  Then I took a bite of the middle of the berry (it probably would've taken me three bites to eat this whole strawberry) but it was bitter.  I made sure my dad wasn't looking and threw it in the garbage.  When I told my praying friend what I'd done she texted back, "Ha, going from sneaking food to eat out to sneaking to throw it away!"  I never thought of it like that.  Yes, I did used to sometimes sneak food or get rid of the evidence of fast food before I got home.  Now I'm sneaking to throw it away and not eat it.  Is there any end to what God can do?!

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