I felt bloated and hungry at the same time, but stuck it out for well over an hour. Then I ate ice cream with strawberries. I didn't think to measure the ice cream; I just scooped some into a bowl then sliced 5 or 6 strawberries to mix in with it. While I was eating it, my brother texted me and we started having a fun conversation. Before I knew it I had finished the ice cream, even drinking the last bit that had melted. I now feel not just bloated but FAT. L I decided to go rinse the rest down the drain. This isn’t the first time I’ve rinsed ice cream down the drain. Or the second. Or even the third. I’m seeing a pattern here. It’s not a good idea for me to keep ice cream in the house. When I’m out, I don’t feel a need to get ice cream. In fact, I honestly can’t remember the last time I had ice cream out. It’s been YEARS. The only reason this was here is that my daughter and her friend made fried ice cream last week and this was left over.
When David sinned with Bathsheba, one thing that led to his downfall is that he was not where he was supposed to be. He should’ve been at war with his troops. I should’ve been at work. It’s now 9:30 at night and I have at least another hour of work to do. I didn't need that ice cream to ensure my continued survival. I could've had nothing.
I want to say, “Live and learn. Learn from this, brush it off, and move on.” This is starting to be recurrent, though. It’s not enough to brush it off and move on. I don’t know what else I could’ve done differently. Earlier this evening I did wait and the hungry feeling persisted so I thought it was real. Maybe it was. I don’t know what I could’ve had instead. No, I do. I could’ve put some thought into it and come up with a better snack than ice cream. I don’t have a grocery store in my house, but I do have enough things that I could’ve made a better choice.
I just prayed and asked God to forgive me. I’m starting over right now. Not tomorrow morning. Certainly not next Monday. Obviously I don’t need to eat anything else tonight. Tomorrow’s breakfast will be my usual steel-cut oats with homemade yogurt and strawberries.