I'm Not Perfect

Right now Chris Tomlin is on the radio singing, "Your grace is enough"!!!!!!!!!!


I'm feeling weak spiritually today because work is piling up and it's now 10:36 and I haven't exercised yet. I'm off to do that now in the heat. : (  Earlier, though, I ate a bowl of strawberries dipped in chocolate. It has certainly taken away the hunger I had, but I could've had just the berries. On the other hand, I wait all year for this. I don't buy strawberries

[Now JoyFM is playing From the Inside Out by Hillsong, one of my favorite worship songs. It starts out, "A thousand times I failed, still your mercy remains..."]

from the store since I discovered how good they are when I pick them myself, and if I thaw frozen ones, they're mushy. I have a very small window to enjoy fresh strawberries dipped in chocolate. Did I overeat, though? I could've had half the bowl earlier and half later, so yeah, I guess I did. I'm sorry, God. Please forgive me for overdoing it.

I know You have, and I thank You.  : )

Now Matt Redman is singing, "You never let go, through the calm and through the storm.  Oh no, You never let go, through every high and every low"!!  It's like God orchestrated the last few songs to play right as I'm typing this! 

Sigh.  : )  & <3 p="">
Now, on God's playlist for me (!), is Steven Curtis Chapman singing, "I'm divin' in, I'm goin' deep, in over my head I want to be, caught in the rush, lost in the flow in over my head I wanna go.  The river's deep, the river's wide, the river's water is alive.  So sink or swim I'm diving in!

This tells me that I messed up, I repented, and now God is saying, "Get back in the water, Michele.  You love it here.  In fact, come out where it's deeper, where the water's over your head.  Depend on me to hold you up.  Walk and jog now, then go to the beach later to swim out past the buoys.  THEN you can come home and work.  Let's go see what I [God] am capable of first, though."

Did it anyway!

My last post was about doing what I've set my mind to do whether I feel like it or not.  This week is walk, walk, jog +80 steps.  Several times this morning I didn't want to continue.  I wanted to either just go home or at least slow down to a walk.  There was no reason to do that, though.  None at all.  A long time ago I made it a personal rule when I think I can't jog the next section to at least start it.  If after starting to jog it I see that I can't continue, THEN I can walk it, but I have to at least try.  There may have been one time many months ago that I started jogging a section and had to stop.  Every other time I actually forget that I was thinking that and I just do it.  Nike was onto something when they made that their slogan!  Just do it!

So you don't think you can?  Just do it.
It's too hard?  Just do it. 
It's not worth it?  Yes it is.  Just do it.

JUST DO IT!

I did it and I'm glad.  : )  

Do it anyway!

I walked/jogged my usual 3 miles with increase on Monday when Brandice came over.  Yesterday I could do only 1-1/2 miles.  I just wimped out and plain didn't want to.  I'm feeling sluggish this week.  Today I didn't want to do it either, but I knew how important it was that I do since I didn't do the whole thing yesterday.  I told myself that at the very least I would walk the whole 3 miles.  I ended up doing my usual walking and jogging +70 steps, right on schedule!  Thank You, God!  I feel so much better than I would if I'd taken the easy way out.  Physically I'm tired, as usual. Spiritually, mentally, and emotionally, though...ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!  Victory!

To Anonymous

To the person who commented on March 1 as anonymous, I've been praying that you would not fall in love with Jesus but choose to love Him and that He'd give you the desire to love and honor Him. 

I apologize for asking you to identify yourself.  If you posted as anonymous, you don't want to identify yourself.  Duh!  Sometimes it takes a while for things to sink in, and I have to have time to really process before I can respond intelligently.  I didn't take that time. 

I hope my posts since that day are encouraging you.

Oreos have no power over me

I filled in as a leader in the Student Leadership Council at the homeschool meeting tonight.  They always have snacks for the teens and tonight there were Cokes and Oreos.  After our part of the meeting was done I moved and sat (not on purpose) right in front of the Oreos.  I asked myself if I wanted one, but I was still full from supper, so I didn't.  I sat right in front of an open package of Oreos and felt no pull from them.  I even stared at them!  Not one Oreo jumped into my mouth and I didn't hear them call to me once!  They just sat there like the inanimate objects they are.  Wow!  I didn't have any Coke either.  I thought about that because I have a lot of work to do tonight and in the early morning, and I used to think caffeine would help me stay awake.  It really doesn't.  I still get just as tired and my thinking isn't any clearer.  It's just that when I do try to fall asleep, I can't, no matter how much I want to.  I remembered all that and decided that caffeine would not be a good choice. 

God is SO alive!  And Oreos and caffeine are not.  : )

Progress

I was at a potluck for lunch yesterday. I prayed the day before and yesterday morning and even in line that God would help me make good choices and that I'd enjoy the food without feeling either stuffed or deprived. Like I've said in some of my http://swshonline.com/ (Strong Women Surrendered Hearts) posts, the Publix fried chicken that I could have any day of the week, I passed up. Brianne got some but didn't eat all of it so I finished her piece. That was just enough to give me a little of the taste but not enough to bloat me or make me feel like I'd deliberately sinned. I chose about 3 or 4 strawberries (that was MAJOR self-control!), a brownie (the smallest one), some raw veggies and fruit, a few small helpings of casserole-type stuff, etc. I didn't heap one food on top of another, but my plate was full. And I had only one plate, not one for regular food and one for dessert. I ate and was satisfied. Then I started to feel the desire to go back for more. Are you kidding me???!!! I recognized it as a lie straight from hell so I didn't go back, but I also saw how easily I did in years past, for no reason other than the satisfaction of my taste buds. I felt the old pull, but I almost laughed in its face! (And I didn't go back.) I even had sweet tea, but only one cup.

The root of my problem (indulging my flesh) still tries to throw its weight around (interesting choice of words!), but I don't have to obey it. I see how strong it was before, how weak it is now, even if still present, and how much weaker it will become in the future. The more I give my struggle to God and am honest about it, the more He empowers me to say no to what doesn't honor Him.

Today I upped my jogging 10 steps, to +70.  Walk 2 sections and jog 1 section plus 70 steps for 3 miles.  Brandice Lardner of http://www.fitnessinfusiononline.com/ ran with me.  Thanks Brandice!  She said I had good form and a good pace.  Yay me!  We figured that we ran about 1-1/2 miles.  I came home and did the math (should've had Brianne do it ; )) and found out that's pretty much right.  A mile is about 2000 steps so 1/2 a mile is about 1000 steps and 70 extra steps x 12 sections = 840 steps.  Almost 1/2 a mile.  I'm jogging almost half of a 5K!  I'm getting there!

Nothing's Stopping Me

I've been walking 2 sections and jogging 1 + 60 steps this week.  I did that Monday through Thursday.  My schedule was such that I couldn't do it today.  My Salt & Light group met at Freedom Lake Park today, though, instead of at our leader's house, so we walked 3 times around the lake, which totaled just over 2 miles.  Something's better than nothing.  : ) 

Jogging would not have been a good idea today anyway, since this morning I twisted my knee rushing to get the garbage can to the street because I thought I heard the garbage truck.  Turned out not to be.  : (  I think I planted my foot and then twisted my leg without my foot going too or something like that.  Whatever happened, I limped to the street pulling the can behind me and then limped back into the house.  I've been wearing an Ace bandage all day.  It's not so much pain as it is discomfort, but I don't want to chance doing anything worse to it.  I felt the discomfort all three times around the lake, but it didn't keep me from walking.   

I had hip pain about two weeks ago only on the left side but it was very painful to walk.  I researched and think it was the tensor fascia lata muscle.  I did some stretching exercises and applied heat as often as I could and it's about 95% gone. 

I started exercising seriously almost 2 years ago but it wasn't until the past two weeks that I've had any kind of injury at all.  What's happened in the last two weeks?  I made a committment and set a goal.  The devil doesn't like it when we get serious about God and His glory.  He doesn't mind lukewarm Christians at all because they're no threat to him, but when someone gets serious about doing what God's told them to do and giving God credit for it, satan gets mad and does everything he can to stop that.  I didn't realize until today that that's what is going on here.  The more I thought about it, I actually laughed as I realized that I kept jogging or at least walking through both injuries!  Take that, jerk!  You can't stop me!

Hebrews 12:12-13 (NLT) - So take a new grip with your tired hands and stand firm on your shaky legs.  Mark out a straight path for your feet.  Then those who follow you, though they are weak and lame, will not stumble and fall but will become strong.

My flesh is a spoiled brat that needs to be told "NO" more often!

Earlier this evening (after 7) I fixed spinach salad for supper.  Spinach leaves, chicken, and hard-boiled egg.  I had two small bowls of it even though today was one of my half-portion days.  Around 8:45 or 9:00 I started getting hungry and wanting more.  I almost got some, rationalizing that it was salad, and very simple salad at that, not my usual salad with about 10 ingredients.  It was GOOD for me, doncha know?  Then I remembered my guideline of waiting 1-1/2 hours after feeling hunger before eating.  This helps me keep my flesh under control and be sure the hunger I'm feeling is really my body calling for fuel.  So I wrote 10:30 on a piece of paper next to where I'm working.  That's when I'll have some more salad.  It's 10:10 now - 20 minutes to go.  I'm not ravenously counting down the minutes, but I do look at the clock occasionally. 

I hope this encourages you that (1) I still battle with my flesh.  I haven't arrived at perfection. (2)  Flesh CAN be brought into submission.  Galatians 5:16 (NLT) - ¹⁶ So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves.

10:25 - My eyes see the clock and tell my stomach, "Only 5 more minutes!"  My bratty stomach says, "If I can make her feel exhausted (really, a feeling of complete exhaustion came over me), maybe she'll cut it short by a few minutes!"    HA!  But I'm too smart for them now!  I said 10:30 and 10:30 it shall be! 

10:34  - Been working but getting up now to get a small bowl of salad. 

10:50 - I fixed a bowl of salad.  I measured another one in the set and the bowl holds 16 ounces.  I ate about 2/3 of it,then realized that was plenty.  I'm done.  I'm in charge.  Me and the Holy Spirit in me.  Not my flesh.  Aaaaahhhhh!!!!!  This feels good!  : )