My Second Race on the Beach

Today’s post is colorful.  Red words are my negative thoughts and green ones are my positive thoughts.

I ran the 5K on the beach last night, but I didn’t want to.  Yes, I did.  No, I would’ve been fine if they had canceled it because of the weather.  I’m glad I ran it.  I had a stinky attitude just before.  Let me start at the beginning. 

I don’t know if it’s because these races are in the evening after I’ve had a full day (even if that full day included a nap) or what, but I really was not feeling racy (ha!) as we headed up there.  I love to run in the rain and it was sprinkling as we drove to the beach.  I hoped it would start raining harder because it’s hard rain I like to run in.  For some reason I took the route that had us on Gulf Blvd., not the fastest way to get to Clearwater Beach.  I was just driving, not thinking.  The closer we got the more my feelings bounced back and forth between positive and negative. 

I felt sluggish and fat but happy to be running again but I hoped they would cancel it but I was happy that there was a good chance I could run in rain but there was also a strong wind coming off the water so it would be blowing into me sideways as I ran out and back, not against me one direction and with me the other, but I was just glad to be running, period, and should quit complaining. 

We got there and the race was still scheduled to start.  The mist (not even sprinkle) had stopped and the wind was up.  I didn’t want to waste the trip, so I paid $10 (didn’t get a shirt this time because it’s the same one for the whole series), and proceeded to warm up.  I saw no one I knew who was running, but it was okay.  Only my mom went with me and I didn’t even see any spectators I knew, but it was okay this time for some reason. 

A few weeks ago at this race, I pushed myself by running 7 minutes and walking 2 for a final time of 44:52.  Since then I’ve been adding 1 minute per week.  When I ran on Tuesday I ran 10 minutes and walked 2, so last night I challenged myself to run 11 and walk 2.  I did it!  My final time was 43:50, 1 minute and 2 seconds faster than previous!    

My negative thoughts were mostly before the start of this race, not while I was racing like they were last time.  I sang my “Keep Running” song MANY times, like I always do.  I’ve decided that the water station at the halfway/turnaround point doesn’t benefit me.  For a 5K, I don’t need to hydrate during the race and it upsets my stomach.  So no more getting water there.  I don’t drink during runs at home and I don’t need to during official races. 

After I turned around at the halfway point I noticed that the wind had shifted and instead of coming at me from the side, it was now coming at me straight on.  Great.  Not only was I running in sand, which absorbed my impacts and didn’t bounce me back so consequently made me run slower, now I was running into the wind so was slowed down even more.  Really, Michele?  You’re complaining about running on a God-made surface that is better for your knee, the knee that forced you to stop running for MONTHS this past winter and spring???  You’re complaining about a God-sent breeze to cool you off during this race?  You’re complaining, period?  Philippians 2:14 says to do everything without complaining.  Plain and simple. 

The running pants I wore last night will be downgraded to sleeping pants.  So will the T-shirt.  Comfortably loose is one thing; sloppily big is quite another. 

At one point near the end I saw a woman who was rounder than I am and she was walking with a man.  They were having a good time just being with each other and picking up and looking at shells.  I said, “Really, God?  Look how fat she is and her husband or boyfriend isn’t hideous.  How come she gets to have one and I don’t?”  Siiiiiiigh.  Here we go again.  I’ve asked that question countless times for YEARS and gotten no answer.  These song lyrics from Building 429 came to mind then: 

I won’t keep searching for answers that aren’t here to find

All I know is I’m not home yet

This is not where I belong

Take this world and give me Jesus

This is not where I belong. 

Apparently that question of mine doesn’t have an answer to find, at least not now, and I need to stop searching for it.  I need to focus on where I DO belong, which is Heaven, and on what I DO have, a desire and the ability to honor God with my food and activity choices. 

I don't like to run. I like to HAVE run. :-)

Thanks to my friend and encourager, Brandice of www.fitnessinfusiononline.com for the title of this entry.  :-)

Okay, I did it.  I got out and jogged anyway.  (I've noticed that when I'm excited I use the word run.  When I'm not or when I'm discouraged I use the word jog.)  At least I'm not just walking anymore.  ;-)

So I set out thinking I would have to take it step by step, which was going to be fine.  I noticed right away that I felt slower.  At least I was moving at more than a walking pace.  I felt sluggish but I kept pushing through.  I got to 1/2 mile and checked my time - about 7 minutes, which would put me at 14 minutes for the first mile.  Yuck!  I've been doing mile 1 in 10 minutes.  Well, at least I was moving at more than a walking pace.  Mile 1 ended up being 13 minutes and 15 seconds!  Woohoo!  I must've picked up some speed in the second 1/2 mile! 

Slogging through mile 2.  At one point I actually thought about lying down on the living room floor when I was done and having a temper tantrum.  Yeah, I can't picture it either.  I don't have tantrums.  I've never behaved like that.  Sure, I get frustrated sometimes but I don't throw myself down kicking and screaming.  This turned into a conversation with God.  He confirmed that, no, I don't behave like that, but I still have pity parties.  He pointed out that I was having one right then.  I cried out for help.  I didn't want to have a pity party.  Or maybe I did.  Sigh. 

Then I turned a corner, literally and figuratively. 

As I turned a corner and headed west, I ran smack into the full moon, still shining brightly even though the sun was coming up and the sky around the moon wasn't dark anymore so there was much less contrast between the moon and its surroundings. 



I already knew but was reminded that the moon has no light of its own.  The light it appears to have [here come the tears as I type] is only what is reflected from the sun (Son).   I stared at the moon and contemplated that until the 1-1/2-mile mark when I had to turn another corner.  I continued that mile, occasionally adding sprints, and finished it in 12:38, 37 seconds faster than I had anticipated based on my 1-mile time! 

Okay, into the 3rd mile and happy.  Y'know, I'm not taking it step by step.  I'm not telling myself I just have to make it to the next tree or to the end of this section then I can stop.  I'm just running.  Or jogging.  Or slogging.  At least I'm not just walking.  Or home sitting.  Or home sleeping. 

I finished the 3 miles in 39:15, averaging 13:05 per mile.  More importantly, though, I finished the 3 miles.  And I finished it with some wisdom from God to ponder and incorporate into my heart and to share with you.

2 Miles!

I'm now jogging 2 miles and walking 1!  : )

It's still not 2 miles all together, but I'm getting there!  I used to wonder what it would be like when I had only one section to walk and recover between jogging sections.  Now I know.  It's not so bad.   On the other hand, these last two days of jogging 2 and walking 1 have been difficult to actually jog.  I feel sluggish.  It's probably the few pounds that have crept on.  : ((((  Yes, I've gained a few pounds because I've been compromising and eating small amounts more than I need to lately.  I'm back on track but feeling the consequences of those decisions.  Siiiigggghhhh.  Just being honest.  Thank You, God, for forgiveness!

Another reason for the gain is very likely lack of sleep.  I've also asked God to keep showing me how to make wise decisions with my time so I don't have to be up so late and early working.  I have some off time coming up later this month to go to the homeschool convention and I'm looking forward to sleeping more than 4 or 5 hours a night!

More of Jesus, Less of Michele.  More of Jesus, Less of Michele.  More of Jesus, Less of Michele.  : )

Do it anyway!

I walked/jogged my usual 3 miles with increase on Monday when Brandice came over.  Yesterday I could do only 1-1/2 miles.  I just wimped out and plain didn't want to.  I'm feeling sluggish this week.  Today I didn't want to do it either, but I knew how important it was that I do since I didn't do the whole thing yesterday.  I told myself that at the very least I would walk the whole 3 miles.  I ended up doing my usual walking and jogging +70 steps, right on schedule!  Thank You, God!  I feel so much better than I would if I'd taken the easy way out.  Physically I'm tired, as usual. Spiritually, mentally, and emotionally, though...ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!  Victory!