Day 2

Here are my thoughts from today:

1. Down 3 pounds in 1 day??? I ate yesterday so how can that be?! I'm not complaining, but...

My friend, trainer, and nutritionist, Brandice Lardner of www.fitnessinfusiononline.com said that when our bodies store carbohydrates, they hold onto a water molecule, so if you stop eating carbs you will see a quick weight loss.

Okay. Makes sense.

2. Usually when I'm hungry and get a growl, it's way over on my left side. I mean WAAAAY on the left side. Like my side. Not my stomach/abdomen. This morning I'm getting a growl right in the middle of my abdomen.

3. Insights from A Hunger for God by John Piper: "The weakness of our hunger for God is not because he is unsavory, but because we keep ourselves stuffed with other things. Perhaps, then, the denial of our stomach's appetite for food might express, or even increase, our soul's appetite for God."

"The issue is not food per se. The issue is anything and everything that is, or can be, a substitute for God."

"The danger of eating is that we fall in love with the gift; the danger of fasting is that we belittle the gift and glory in our willpower."

"The true mortification of our carnal nature is not a simple matter of denial and discipline. It is an internal, spiritual matter of finding more contentment in Christ than in food."

"Faith is a spiritual feasting on Christ with a view to being so satisfied in Him that the power of all other allurements is broken."

4. Hot tea without honey and cream is just not worth drinking. Blech! I'd rather do without.

5. Why am I doing this 20-day fast? Wouldn't one day be fine like I usually do once a week? I had gotten lax and not been diligent about controlling my appetite. I was slowly creeping back to eating whatever I wanted when I wanted it. Not overeating, but definitely letting flesh have its way. That has to stop. This fast is to rein in my flesh and remind it that God is in control.  And no, one day would not be enough right now. 

6.  I took a 1-hour nap this afternoon and then went on a ¾-mile walk instead of my usual 3-mile run.  The weather was beautiful, wasn’t it?!  The distance seemed just right to me.  Not too much and not too little.  I thought I would just automatically run when I got to my starting point, but I didn’t.  I was surprised.  I guess I need this rest.  I had a little bit of pain in my foot so it’s good that I didn’t run. 

7.  Going to start taking a multivitamin. 

8.  I saw some earrings today that I forgot I had.  I saw them more than 20 years ago at Wet 'N Wild in Orlando and thought they were cute.  I haven't worn them probably since before Brianne was born.  Now I don't think they're cute.  God little by little shows me things that I need to get rid of.  These earrings are the latest thing.  I thought maybe one of you might want them, but the paint is chipping off them and the post is bent on one.  Here's the picture: 

8.  Tired of salad.  Well, no more until Feb. 2.  Just water, juice, smoothies, and veggie broth for the next 16 days.  And Jesus.  :-D

9.  "The Motions" by Matthew West just came on the radio.  I don't remember if that was one of the songs that helped me the first time I did this fast or if it came later, when I was training for my first 5K.  Either way, it still inspires me.  The first line is, "This might hurt, it's not safe, but I know I've got to make a change."  Pretty appropriate, huh?

Possibilities and Responsibilities

Normally I don't run on Sundays because I'm fasting, but I wasn't feeling well so I didn't fast today.  I was feeling better by this evening, so I decided to do my run (Notice I don't say walk/jog anymore?  :-)).  I got in half a mile before I saw lightning.  Sigh.  I tried. 

I follow a blog called PriorFatGirl.  Here is an excerpt from the latest post of one of the contributors (actually, the woman in charge of it) to the blog:

"Our server came by just enough to let us know he was still there but not to bombard us with intrusions. When he noticed we were slowing down on our meals, he asked the tempting question surrounding the subject dessert. Would we or wouldn't we? I entertained the thought. I even went so far as to ask for descriptions of heavenly creations and begin the process of elimination deciding which one I wanted in my stomach.

As I looked up at the server, I noticed a monster-sized antique looking door on the wall behind him. A symbol, I'm sure of it. The door represented all I'd hope for, fought for and dreamed of. This door was colorful as if alluding to the promises met on the other side. It also appeared to be a heavy door of which one would need to use all the fight they had to push open. It looked simple yet screamed of strength and power.



The server was calmly waiting to fulfill my dessert dreams but my thought process revolving the door helped me realize my stomach was truly satisfied. I had bread and chickpea spread and honey butter. I had udon noodles with a spicy peanut sauce and chicken and an egg. I was satisfied and did not need dessert. {Trust me, I'll talk plenty in the future of dinners when I decide dessert is the perfect end to an evening.} As the server walked away, I looked up as if my decision had been influenced from above. A wall full of mismatched framed mirrors looked down at me.


I smiled and snapped a photo. Doors and mirrors. An entrance to possibilities and a reminder of responsibility. Out in the real world, healthiness exists. We just have to slow down and take a breath long enough for it to make its presence known to us. Blackbird Cafe gives us the space we need to take a breath long enough for us to slow down in a fast paced world. It is a reminder we can be healthy by looking in the mirror and seeing ourselves making responsible decisions."


Isn't it cool that God showed her that?!  I certainly see Him at work here!

Progress

I was at a potluck for lunch yesterday. I prayed the day before and yesterday morning and even in line that God would help me make good choices and that I'd enjoy the food without feeling either stuffed or deprived. Like I've said in some of my http://swshonline.com/ (Strong Women Surrendered Hearts) posts, the Publix fried chicken that I could have any day of the week, I passed up. Brianne got some but didn't eat all of it so I finished her piece. That was just enough to give me a little of the taste but not enough to bloat me or make me feel like I'd deliberately sinned. I chose about 3 or 4 strawberries (that was MAJOR self-control!), a brownie (the smallest one), some raw veggies and fruit, a few small helpings of casserole-type stuff, etc. I didn't heap one food on top of another, but my plate was full. And I had only one plate, not one for regular food and one for dessert. I ate and was satisfied. Then I started to feel the desire to go back for more. Are you kidding me???!!! I recognized it as a lie straight from hell so I didn't go back, but I also saw how easily I did in years past, for no reason other than the satisfaction of my taste buds. I felt the old pull, but I almost laughed in its face! (And I didn't go back.) I even had sweet tea, but only one cup.

The root of my problem (indulging my flesh) still tries to throw its weight around (interesting choice of words!), but I don't have to obey it. I see how strong it was before, how weak it is now, even if still present, and how much weaker it will become in the future. The more I give my struggle to God and am honest about it, the more He empowers me to say no to what doesn't honor Him.

Today I upped my jogging 10 steps, to +70.  Walk 2 sections and jog 1 section plus 70 steps for 3 miles.  Brandice Lardner of http://www.fitnessinfusiononline.com/ ran with me.  Thanks Brandice!  She said I had good form and a good pace.  Yay me!  We figured that we ran about 1-1/2 miles.  I came home and did the math (should've had Brianne do it ; )) and found out that's pretty much right.  A mile is about 2000 steps so 1/2 a mile is about 1000 steps and 70 extra steps x 12 sections = 840 steps.  Almost 1/2 a mile.  I'm jogging almost half of a 5K!  I'm getting there!