Day 18 - Wednesday

Down 0.8 pounds since yesterday, 15.6 from the beginning, and 91.6 pounds from my heaviest weight. 

I’m in awe of what God has done and is doing in my life.  91.6 pounds.  Do you know what that looks like?  Here are a few examples of women who weigh 90 pounds:

This is what I’ve lost.  This is what I don’t carry around on my body any more.  Whole people.  This is what you can see.  What you can’t see that I don’t carry around anymore is greed and selfishness.  Or at least not to the extent that I used to; God’s still working. 

I’m in awe of God. 

From Made To Crave:

“Let the Holy Spirit speak truth to your brain until it affects your taste buds.” 

“The real reason for grounding ourselves in the truth that we are made for more is ‘so that you may know Him better.’  [Ephesians 1:17]  The more we operate in the truth of who we are and the reality that we were made for more, the closer to God we’ll become.” 

Today is my last liquid day.  Tomorrow I eat fruit salad for breakfast and veggie salad for lunch and supper, but I can add chicken, eggs, cheese, and dressing to it, unlike the first two days of the fast.  I look forward to enjoying God’s gift of food and chewing again!  I pray that I can be disciplined in enjoying and not go overboard. 

Day 17 Tuesday

Down 0.6 pounds from yesterday, 14.8 pounds from the beginning, and 90.8 pounds from my heaviest weight. 

I just heard a sound from the TV that was exactly the sound my tea kettle makes when it whistles.  I wanted to make tea and put cream and honey in it and not care that that would be a shock to my digestive system right now and go against the principles of this fast.  I don’t have any cream in the house, though, and I discovered early in this fast that drinking tea without cream and honey isn’t worth it.  I’d rather do without.  I didn’t have time to think whether I would tell y’all I’d done that or not.  (I would’ve.)  All this happened in less than a second.  The Holy Spirit in me kicked the devil to the curb!  It happened so fast I didn’t have time to fight it in my own strength, and I’m so tired and ready for this to be over that I don’t have much strength to fight anyway.  That was really cool!  Exodus 14:4 - The LORD himself will fight for you.  Just stay calm."

I’ve had two cups of veggie puree this morning and am hungry again, so I poured myself a glass of smoothie.  All through this fast, the smoothies have been what I like better than the puree, but this time when I took a drink I wanted to spit it out.  It wasn’t rotten; I’m just tired of it.  Two more days of this.  Two more days and then I can start chewing again, eating the way God intended but a lot less than I was eating before.  One practical way is that the oatmeal I have every morning that fuels my run can drop from half a cup to 1/3 of a cup. 

Tomorrow's my last liquid day.  Yay!

Day 16 - Monday

Down 0.8 pounds from yesterday, 14.2 from the beginning, and 90.2 from my heaviest weight. 

I’ve hit the 90-pound mark!  Thank You, God!

Thoughts from Made To Crave:

“I had to see the purpose of my struggle as something more than wearing smaller sizes and getting compliments from others…It had to be about something more than just me…I determined to make God, rather than food, my focus.  Each time I craved something…I used that craving as a prompt to pray.” 

I’d been doing that for a while but had slacked off.  I’ve started doing it again. 

Today should be a good day of catching up on reading Made To Crave while Brianne’s in class.

I’m ready to start chewing again.  Thursday I shall!

Day 13 - Friday

Down 0.2 pounds from yesterday, 12.2 from the beginning, and 88.2 from my highest weight.  This is the same as Wednesday. 

Yesterday was quite a busy day.  I did some work and then made supper for some friends who recently became foster parents to infant twin girls.  I prayed that I would be able to fix the food without tasting any of it and without mindlessly licking my fingers.  I even asked a couple friends to pray that specifically!  Praise God, I didn’t taste or lick! 

I went to a birthday lunch for my nephew and took along some veggie puree.  I also went to a smoothie store and got a smoothie.  On the cup was this saying: 

That’s not true.  Chewing is wonderful, and I look forward to next Thursday when I’ll be able to chew again!  I made sure it had no added sugar, dairy, protein, etc.  It tasted okay but was too sweet.  I was trying to figure out why it was sweeter than what I make at home when it had basically the same ingredients I use.  After some thinking, I realized that I add pumpkin to my smoothies sometimes.  That’s nutrition but not sweetness.  There weren’t any bananas in the store-bought smoothie and I put them in my homemade ones.  I know they’re sweet, but somehow it’s a different sweetness than other fruits.  Anyway, the lunch was at a BBQ restaurant, and BBQ is what I want when I’m off this fast.  More prayer.  It smelled so good when I got out of the car!  I ordered only water, though, and drank my smoothie and puree.  I also was able to feed and play with my niece, which helped distract me from the fact that everyone else was eating. 

Yesterday was set up to be a very difficult day food-wise for me, but it really wasn’t.  Thank you to the friends who were praying specifically, and thank you to all who were praying in general.  That certainly played a big part in how my day went.  Another thing that helped the day go smoothly is that my heart wasn’t divided.  For example, when I got out of the car at the restaurant I knew I wasn’t going to order anything or take a bite off anyone’s plate.  I didn’t have to agonize over what low-cal, low-fat, low-whatever thing to choose from the menu.  I wasn’t going to eat.  Period.  Simple as that.  Honoring God by reining in my flesh was the highest priority.  I wasn’t feeling sorry for myself.  This is more about God gain than weight loss, and I certainly experienced growth in God yesterday! 

Day 9 - Monday

Down 0.2 pounds from yesterday and 10.2 pounds from the beginning. 

I sometimes miss running.  Now (Tuesday morning) I want to get back to it. 

I’ve known for several days that my first meal after the fast will be BBQ.  I want meat.  Smoked meat.  With a little sauce.  I’m not too concerned about the sides.  I just want meat. 

8:45 a.m.  Hungry now but have enacted 1-hour rule.

I miss eating.  I miss chewing. 

Glad to have Dee joining me!  My friend Dee started this same fast today.  Follow her blog at http://dee-lightfullmoments.blogspot.com/

Quotes from A Hunger for God  by John Piper

“…we are less sensitive to spiritual appetites when we are in the bondage of physical ones.” 

“I want the manifestation of You Yourself more than I want food.”