Three Years and Counting

Today is three years since I started The Lord’s Table, the online Bible study that has helped me lose 81 pounds and was the biggest catalyst in changing the way I think about food. 

I had already started losing weight without realizing it.  One day I just became aware of the fact that for a couple months I hadn’t been eating as much food and had lost some weight.  I was clueless as to why I wasn’t eating as much but happy to have the loss, of course!  Later that year, I was boasting to a friend about my self-control in having McDonald’s for breakfast only 2 days out of 3. 

He told me about The Lord’s Table at www.SettingCaptivesFree.com.  I looked at it for a few days, decided to sign up, and the rest is history!  Except that it’s not only history; it was just the beginning and even three years later it’s the present.  I’m not doing that specific study any longer, but the truths about God I learned in that course still figure prominently in my decisions today and will for the rest of my life. 

In a nutshell, I was fat and didn’t want to be but thought it was inevitable and linked to genetics.  Surely the effort I was making should count for something.  Not eating the last bite of a sandwich…once…a month…should result in weight loss.  I’M TRYYYYYIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNGGGG!!!!!!

Ahem.  I think that red backpack was full of snacks and drinks in case we got lost in the corn maze. 

No, I wasn’t really trying, I discovered.  Through The Lord’s Table I learned that overeating is sin (which I repented of) and that I hadn’t been trusting God to give me what I need when I need it.  I had been getting it for myself.  Way too much of it (which I also repented of).   I’m typing this blog and eating lunch at the same time.  An hour and 15 minutes ago I had some leftover Smoked Mozzarella Chicken from Olive Garden, but I'm feeling hungry again.  I went to the fridge and got the leftover salad from Olive Garden.  I started to walk back into my office and heard God say, “You don’t need all of that.”  I went back into the kitchen, got a small bowl, and put about a third of the salad into it.  That’s what I’m eating now.  I call this feeling like Gideon.  In Judges 7, Gideon starts out with 32,000 warriors under his command, but God starts whittling his army down until he gets to 300 and then God says He will give Gideon victory over his enemies with just the 300 soldiers. 

Ummm…God?  I had 32,000 calories at my disposal.  [Figuratively, of course.  Stay with me; it’ll make sense in a minute.]  You’re telling me to eat just 300?  How can I possibly sustain myself on just 300 calories???  God answers, “You won’t.  I’ll sustain you.  I’ll cause your enemies to fight among themselves and I’ll give you the victory.”  My enemies, the world’s wisdom when it comes to weight loss, often contradict themselves.  A study comes out claiming that this food is the key to permanent weight loss.  Soon another study comes out debunking the previous one and claiming that this rare supplement found only in a 1-square mile area of the Andes Mountains is the key to permanent weight loss.  You know how it goes.  Situps are the key to a flat tummy!  No, planks are the key to a flat tummy!  No, lift weights so that you build muscle and burn fat even when you’re resting!  Sure, there’s a little bit of truth in all those claims, but do you see how they’re fighting against each other?  Some foods are good for weight loss when they’re substituted in place of another food, planks are fine (I do them regularly), and strength training does build muscle so that I burn fat even when resting.  That’s why men generally lose weight faster than women; they have more muscle that’s constantly burning fat.  Sometimes I start thinking that a new revelation (or an old one packaged in a new way) will be my key, so I start researching it, but then I find contradictory information.  I start researching that and find something that contradicts them both.  It’s ridiculous! 

So how do I make sense of it all?  This past Sunday I re-read one of my favorite weight loss Scriptures, Colossians 2:20-23.  “You have died with Christ and He has set you free from…this world.  So why do you keep on following rules of the world such as, ‘Don’t handle, don’t eat, don’t touch!’  Such rules are mere human teaching…These rules may seem wise because they require strong devotion, humility, and severe bodily discipline, but they have no effect when it comes to conquering a person’s evil thoughts and desires.”  The world's methods work only on the outside, or rather, only on the body.  God's method gets to the heart of the matter.  "Are you going to trust Me, the One who made you, about what's best for you?  Are you going to obey Me when I tell you to do something?"

So the end of chapter 2 tells us what NOT to do, but are we TO do?  Keep reading in chapter 3.  “…set your sights on the realities of Heaven…let Heaven fill your thoughts.  Don’t think only about things here on Earth.” 

That’s what I did 35 minutes ago when I heard God tell me to eat only part of the salad and I obeyed. 

In the three years since starting The Lord’s Table, I’ve lost 81 pounds. 

I had lost 90 by this past January, but I’ve gained back 9.  I’d like to skip that part and just let you think it’s been all loss with no gains or plateaus but that would be deceiving you.  There have been a couple gains, this 9 pounds being the biggest one, and plenty of plateaus.  It’s been slow going, but that’s okay.  I recently realized why the weight loss has slowed.  For the past 1-1/2 years I’ve been concentrating on fitness, not just weight loss.  I started running (yes, running!) and love it!  You’d think that would help me lose more weight, but actually the days I run I’m VERY hungry.  I don’t overeat or gorge myself, but I do eat more on those days than on nonrunning days.  I’m trying to curb that.  (See Colossians 3:1-3 above.)  I think that if I stopped running I could consistently eat less and possibly lose weight faster, but I don’t want to stop running.  I enjoy it too much to stop!  I enjoy the increased fitness and challenging my body and my mind.  I’m constantly learning new things and tweaking what I do, though, so we’ll see.  I am conscious of the tendency to eat more on running days and am reining it in. 

So, to summarize, three years ago GOD, the past 1095 days GOD, today GOD, and tomorrow GOD. 

Simple as that.

Two Days In A Row of 10,000+ Steps!

Two days in a row I’ve walked more than 10,000 steps!  Having this pedometer is fun, except when it gets reset without me knowing, like if I take a nap and forget to take it off or when apparently holding my niece resets it. 

I had to go to the bank sometime today so instead of walking/running around my neighborhood on my usual route and then trying to coordinate schedules to borrow my mom’s car to go to the bank, I decided to just walk/run to the bank.  It’s a little bit farther than my usual distance, but that’s okay.  J  I set out just after 6:30 a.m. but could’ve gone a few minutes earlier.  I was a little self-conscious about running next to traffic because I’m kind of starting over and am not too concerned with form right now, just with getting back to running the whole distance.  I overcame that self-consciousness and just did it.  No one pulled over to tell me I wasn’t running properly or to ask why I had slowed to a walk, so it was okay! 

I ended up doing a total of 4.6 miles in 52 minutes, running some and walking some.  My knee made me walk just a couple times.  The rest of the times I walked it was because my mind was slowing me down.  I had to go back to setting goals for myself like, “Keep running until you get to the next cross street; then you can walk.”  I did that many times.  One time I did it and when I got to the cross street I knew I needed to keep running.  There was no physical reason to stop. 

It was so rewarding to put a practical purpose to my exercise! 

In other news, a blogger I follow posted this question on Facebook:

Why do we struggle with food?

She had been talking about this with her counselor and is planning to do a blog post on it, but wanted her readers’ input.  I read a dozen or so responses and almost all of them talked about overeating or unhealthful eating being learned behavior [blame your parents] or lack of self-control.  They were so hopeless!  I had to answer with the hope God has given me in overcoming the sin of overeating.  Here’s my response:

“For me, it's plain and simple indulgence.  I like the taste of food.  I wasn't trusting God to give me what I need when I need it; I was getting it for myself...and lots of it.  Sometimes when working late at night I knew I needed to sleep but I couldn't; I had to keep working.  So I ate food for energy to stay awake.  A bowl of white rice with butter wasn't the best choice, though.  Now that I've learned self-control by denying myself what my body doesn't need, life is so much better.  I still like food, and I still have a little chocolate most days.  Food isn't what consumes me anymore, though.  It's fuel for my body.  Period.  If I can make it taste good AND be healthful, so much the better.  If I have to just eat and move on with my day, no big deal.  Food is no big deal anymore.  It's no big deal!!!  If my current size 16 body had said that to my old size 26 body, it wouldn't have believed it, but it's true!  I love this freedom!”

One person wrote after me that she wished she could just learn to put Jesus in place of food so she wouldn’t have these problems.  I clicked through to her blog and left a comment inviting her to view my blog or email me.  I hope she contacts me so I can share with her what Jesus has done for me!

Day 1

Good Sunday morning, friends!

I haven't posted here since the Jingle Bell Run almost six weeks ago.  I've still been running, but there hasn't been much happening to report on.  Until now. 

More than two years ago, when I was doing The Lord's Table Bible study at www.settingcaptivesfree.com I did a 20-day fast that is part of their Phase II.  I loved it!  It was a time of getting rid of much of self physically, emotionally, and spiritually and of getting more of Jesus.  For a few months now I've wanted to do it again but the timing wasn't right.  Now it is.  Today is day 1.  I'm finishing up my fruit salad for breakfast:  apple, orange, banana, peach, and pear tossed with a little orange juice. I'll have it for breakfast tomorrow too with some strawberries.  I forgot to take them out of the freezer and I don't want to put them in the microwave and have them be warm.  For lunch and supper today and tomorrow I'll have a veggie salad with salsa for dressing.  No meat, cheese, creamy dressing, or oily dressing.  Tuesday will start the liquid portion of the fast:  water, juice, smoothies, and veggie broth.  No potatoes or meat in the broth and no dairy, protein, or peanut butter in the smoothies.  That will last for 16 days and the last two will be transition days out eating fruit salad for breakfast and veggie salads for lunch and supper but I can add back in meat, cheese, and dressing. 

I plan to blog every day about how things are going and what God's teaching me.  I expect the usual lessons about denying my flesh, etc.  I want more now, though.  To be honest, I want weight loss.  The last time I did this I lost 17 pounds and gained back 4 (which is to be expected) for a net loss of 13 pounds.  I'd like to do at least that this time.  That's not my primary motivation, but it is a motivation.  My primary motivation is to remind myself that I can live with a lot less food than I've been eating and that it's God who sustains me, not physical food.  I slowly got away from following the eating plan The Lord's Table recommends.  I wasn't overeating like before, just not being diligent.  I was still fasting one day a week most weeks but would occasionally skip fasting just because I wanted to eat.  Flesh was starting to rear its ugly head again.  I know I gained fitness last year by starting to run seriously, completing two 5Ks (!), doing two 8-week sessions of fitness class and now ongoing weekly boot camp with www.fitnessinfusiononline.com.  I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that all that fitness caused muscle gain and consequently less actual weight loss.  I'm glad I'm more fit, but I want weight loss too.  I'm human and a woman, and I want weight loss!  Just being honest.  Hopefully God will change my perspective through this fast so that reason fades into the background and more spiritual reasons arise.  Yes, I see the inconsistency here and I'm admitting it to you. 

I got on the scale this morning and it said __________.  You didn't really think I was going to tell you the actual number, did you?!  :-)  I also measured, but I'm not going to tell you those numbers either.  I will report weight lost every day and a final weight and measurements.  I'll report what God shows me and how I'm feeling physically.  I'll have Brianne take a before picture this afternoon and post it. 

I still have to work this whole time, but I'm going to stop running and stop going to boot camp.  I'll walk some in place of the running, but not 3-3.4 miles like I have been doing. 

I've started printing out the emails I sent out with my last 20-day fast so I could read them and remember what it was like.  I'll do this one by blog instead.  My regular Bible reading is in Luke so I'll share insights from that.  Also, I'm reading A Hunger For God by John Piper again.  If I finish it before the end of this fast, I'll re-read Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst and share insights. 

I would appreciate your prayers for the next three weeks and your encouragement.  You can leave comments on this blog.  I'll be sharing announcements of new posts on Facebook so you can access this blog easily, but I don't want to blow a trumpet announcing the fact that I'm fasting. 

If anyone has a juicer I can borrow for this time, please let me know.  I'd like to give that a try in place of making smoothies in the blender all the time.   

So, picture this afternoon and insights if I have any.  See you then!